You Better Work Bitch
Rachel Hollis. The name may come to mind when you think about the perfect morning routine. If you don’t know, God bless you. I’m not sure what she is doing these days but Rachel Hollis became an “overnight” ‘success guru’. By overnight I just mean one day she was there and the next day she was making racist TikToks and pissing off some of her fan base. Let’s be honest she didn’t really piss off most of them because they’re mostly white women who didn’t understand why anyone was pissed off about her privileged soaked TikTok where she compares herself to Harriet Tubman and Maya Angelou. [barf] Anywhooo, she had the perfect formula for why you weren’t seeing your dreams come true.
She was basically a walking business commercial that had all the essence of Kim Kardashians most recent comment, “Get Up and Work.”
Reader's Digest Version on Rachel’s overall message: You weren’t working hard enough. You weren’t hustling. If you didn’t get up at 4am to work on your dreams and you weren’t “eating the fucking salmon” your dreams weren’t important to you. [that’s a joke for those that really, really followed her]. If you didn’t work on your book during nap time, if you watched TV, if you weren’t grinding, you were lazy and unmotivated.
She made millions off women by inspiring them to be just like her. If you could just do it the way she did it, you too, could see all your dreams come true. Once the veil was lifted from her adorable style and sense of humor I finally saw it. She was a bully. She made you feel bad for not seeing your dreams come true. If you weren’t getting up at 4am and sustaining a morning routine, your dreams didn’t matter to you. And she shamed you if you didn’t “eat the fucking salmon,” you weren’t supposed to love it, you were just supposed to eat it because that’s what it takes to stay skinny. [PS skinny is not the goal!]
I’m not here to bash on her, there are enough people on the internet doing that, trust me. She symbolizes something greater. There are so many ‘leaders’ in the self development space that lack the fundamental nuance of grace, individualism, privilege, mental illness, and the human experience.
The lie: If you aren’t waking up early to work on yourself or your dreams you’ll never see them come true.
I am a firm believer in routines. Routines work, they help you create habits, and your actions absolutely matter. What’s not true is that our routines will look the same. What’s not true is that we both need to be up at 4am in order to be successful. What’s not true is that doing the same routine will get us to our specific goals in life.
I’ve read more personal development books, listened to more life coaching, therapy, and growth podcasts than I could ever count, and I’ll be the first to tell you they’re all the same while being incredibly different. And I’m going to say the thing that most of them won’t. Most of them, like Rachel, proclaim they have the ‘perfect formula’ for getting you where you want to be. I’m calling bullshit.
The Truth:
Work hard, but do it in your own way. Hustle, but not really HUSTLE. Just “hustle” but not so hard that you lose your spark and love for what you’re actually trying to do. Get up early, but at a time that is early enough for you. OR stay up late if that’s when inspiration sparks. Ask for help, but don’t feel bad if you can’t afford to pay someone to help you. Sacrifice what you can but don’t sacrifice who you are or the money you don’t even have to sacrifice. Or do, I know that’s how some businesses are born, but shit, seek council if you’re going to do that. Follow your peace. Eat the salmon, but only if you like it and you actually want to eat it and don’t eat it because you think you need to be a certain size.
The perfect routine is one that is custom to who you are and how you desire to live your life.
Routines aren’t just for people who are working toward some big dream. They’re for anyone seeking a little control and comfort in their day while living in a world that is wildly unpredictable. Routines actually help with anxiety, but don’t be so rigid that if something isn’t done that your whole day is ruined. None of us are the same and trying to fit into someone else’s box is a ridiculous antidote for living our own life.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying don’t push yourself. I’m not saying don’t be uncomfortable. I’m not saying don’t take risks. That would be silly. It’s all about learning and understanding who you are and what will work for you. I wake up early some days and other days I need sleep. In the past I would beat myself up for the days I slept because that would mean my dreams weren’t big enough, and didn’t mean enough to me. Sometimes, I still do, hashtag human. Sometimes I still feel like I’m not working hard enough but I have to stop and remember the season that I’m in. I have kids and there’s part of me that won’t sacrifice the time with them. I work, have kids, a husband, a life, AND I have dreams. Maybe it means it just takes me longer because I’m not willing to run myself into the ground. Been there, done that, tried the 4 am thing, and it’s just not always for me. Unless I can’t sleep and inspiration strikes. See, flexible. ;)
TLDR: Take what works for you from some ones advice and leave the rest. Don’t stress about doing something exactly the way someone else did. Trust yourself to make the right choices for you and be okay with being different.