Parenting isn’t Political
“Parenting isn’t political,”
[the lie] is what I hear from men and women, mostly women and mostly white, who are “so sick” of seeing social media be “so divisive”. They just want to have fun, they want the light heartedness and only want a mommy blogger if she remains happy, pleasant, and sticks to her mothering. They say things like, “focus on your family,” “we shouldn’t be so divisive,” “just raise good kids,” “it all starts in your home,” …
I grew up in an environment that consistently told me women were less than. Women and girls should submit to the head of household. They should seek the advice of men in the church because they just “knew better.” Simply put: you can’t trust yourself.
Considering the amount of mental gymnastics it takes for a woman to speak up at all, let alone against the injustices in our country should be your first sign that we’ve been quiet for far too long.
We have been quiet and we’ve listened to those in charge.
Being quiet is how we got here.
Changing our environment absolutely starts in the home, raising strong bad ass kids who know the difference between equality and equity. Who understand and speak up when they see injustice. But how do we tell them about it without modeling it for them? How do we show them what it looks like to speak up even when it feels like you’re the only one speaking up? How do we show them what is the right thing to do without showing them? Talking at them is cheap. It costs you nothing to tell them what they should believe.
It seems silly to tell them we should stand up for those who deserve to be treated fairly when we continue to silence ourselves.
If you have a daughter, she just recently lost her most basic human rights; bodily autonomy. If you have a son who has a mental illness and can get access to guns easily, you could be the next mother on the news saying, “I never thought he could do anything like this. He was always such a sweet boy.” If you have a child who doesn’t feel at home in the body they were born with or likes the same gender, they could possibly lose the right to live a life they’ve always dreamed of because laws are being passed and upheld that all make us less safe. [This was written before H.R.8404 Respect for Marriage Act was passed].
Parenting is deeply political.
Our children deserve more than silence. While we are busy in our homes ‘focusing on our family,’ the world they will walk into one day will surely be one that we never wanted for them.
This isn’t a call to take on all the things. Truth be told, I care deeply about so many things it’s hard for me to focus my own energy on just one thing. I’m still navigating what speaking out looks like in my own life. We all can’t do everything but we can do something. It can be as simple as speaking up when you see someone not being treated fairly. Whether it’s donating to grassroots organizations, emailing/calling your representatives, or making others aware of what is going on through social media so they can act as well. We can do something.
There are different seasons for different people. Sometimes your season is to be quiet because you’re learning. This is the appropriate type of silence. And if you ever find yourself telling a Black person, LGTBQ+ person, Indigenous person, differently abled person, or woman [etc] their experience is invalid, well you can continue to shut the fuck right on up again. Do. Not. Do. It.
There is grace for those who it takes everything in them just to get out of bed in the morning. I’ve been there. I know that season and I know it well. This isn’t to make you feel guilty. I very rarely know what my next step is. This is for those who are mostly women, trying to silence other women. For those who talk about how we should stop using social media to bring awareness to the causes that move us and cause our eyes to be open to the unjust systems in our world. Social media is our town square, it’s the place we go to get the word out. If it weren’t for social media we wouldn’t know of half of the things happening in our country/world that have been going on for centuries. They would continue to happen just like white supremacy and the patriarchy wants them to, without rebuke for a different world.
TLDR: Parenting is deeply political. Our children deserve more than us staying silent because while we are busy in our homes ‘focusing on our family,’ the world they will walk into one day will surely be one that we never wanted for them. The only way that doesn’t happen is by being loud and demanding change.
Disclaimer #1: Remember, spreading misinformation about any topic and shooting off at the hip isn’t the goal. Being mean and name calling isn’t the goal and it will get you nowhere.
Disclaimer #2: If you’re reading this because you’ve been sent the link by myself that means that you told me to shut up in one way or another and this is my response to you. Have the day you deserve.
Disclaimer #3: This was written well before all these states went ape shit creating laws that hurt trans people/youth and women and sadly before 140 something more mass shootings. Seriously. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, but where there is heartbreak there are those that use their heartbreak for justice. Today we cry, tomorrow we continue to fight.
